Heya. Sorry to everyone that keeps up with this gay little site for not updating the site for a few months, I've been absolutely going through it and I have had 0 energy to keep up with ANY of my projects. Today I managed to scrounge just enough energy to have any motivation to work on this site thankfully, but I know this energy is fleeting. I know that once I finish updating this site it will likely be months before the next update, so I'm trying to do as much as I can.
At this point I'm fairly certain my meds withdrawl is over, but I still don't feel good at all. The constant unstable extreme swings I felt while going through withdrawl have now been replaced with this dull, infinite expanse of feeling bluh and having 0 energy. Another thing that's been really fucking my mental state as well is that I'm still dealing with a bunch of semi-recently uncovered awful CSA and grooming memories, which has ensured I've stayed stuck regressed and in a dissociative haze. Yet ANOTHER thing that's been fucking my ability to work on any of my projects being that I'm too scared to create anything right now. Everything I attempt to make feels awful and shitty and I'm afraid of people hating my art and hating me because it sucks so much. This is a big reason to why I haven't written any more doll stories as of late. I have this irrational fear that if I write ES stories that suck I'll singlehandedly kill the entire community or something. It sucks.
But yeah, everything has just kinda sucked lately. I'm trying my best to pull myself out of this awful headspace but it's really fucking hard with everything in my life feeling like it's falling apart. But oh well. I will keep trying to make my situation better, no matter what, ok? Please pray for me my lovely friends. I love you, goodbye for now!